Chicago Olympics.
Due to the pressing nature [/sarcasm] of the Olympic games possibly coming to Chicago, I felt it neccesary to discuss certain changes that should take place so that Chicagoans feel more at home. First off we should add some new competitons:
- Alderman Archery: Bribes are attached to the arrows of the archers, then the competitors are required to bribe as many Alderman as they can within 30 seconds.
- Stolen Stereo Relay: This game would be a standard relay competion with the only change being that the baton has now become a stolen stereo from a car.
- Flasher Sprint: Competitors have to parallel park a car in too small of a spot, then sprint into a store to buy a Red Bull while using the flashers on their vehicle. Competitors that are ticketed are immediately disqualified.
On top of the game changes, I also think that to make Chicago natives feel at home they should have volunteers dress as homeless people to pan-handle and urniate on the ground. Ten points.